proverbs 15; and thoughts developing over discussions based on proverbs 13 & 14

**entry in proverbs bible study email group - blog readers are coming in mid-conversation, sorry about that**

3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.

Sometimes this spooks me out (in that "every breathe you take" stalker way)-

But today, I found it very comforting.

Today this verse tells me that God is in control; that he see the actions and the motivations of the heart; that he considers both the good and bad; and that no matter where we are or what we are doing, he sees.

And I feel that this can tie into the conversations relating to Proverbs 13-

**By the way, I really enjoyed the honestly confessed by this group- I didn't chime in, but don't think for a minute that I'm a Born Organizer (at least, not in my household chores!). Any of your statements can and do relate to me and my house: the bathrooms, the laundry, the dishes, the dust, the floors, etc...

I think that God knows us so well.
And loves us for the people were are- both our strengths and weaknesses.
COMPLETELY.
And I don't think we need to feel guilty for our weak areas- now, I don't think we need to wallow in them and forsake trying to develop them- but I don't think that we can beat ourselves up because they are rough things for us to conquer (no matter what our best friends can do; or Martha Stewart; or that B.O. housekeeper that radiates housewifely perfection).

God has been cultivating a spirit of honesty within me- of being honest with HIM.

I've been in the process of shedding who I've been taught God is, and asking God directly, "who are You?" Which also leads to other questions:
"What do you want from me?"
"Why is my life this way?"
"Why do I seem to have such a hard time keeping up?"

And it is a PROCESS. Part of the issue is that I am human, sometimes, (shock) don't WANT to hear the answer. It may mean that I have to change. But I want to be that person who is willing to change- and not in superficial ways: I don't want to look the part; I want to be the part- REALLY BE it.

So, if I am being lazy; then yes, God forgive me that my house is a wreck, because I am cultivating a negative characteristic.

But, if I have been busy doing the things that I am good at, if I have been loving people, if I have been investing in my family and friends, if I have been diligent focusing on my strong points; then beating myself up and feeling guilty because I am not perfect in all things (i.e. beating myself up because I am not God [and aren't we all thankful :)]) is not worth my time or energy.

Whew- where did all of that come from?
I hope you guys enjoyed-

I love you all; and have really enjoyed reading all the comments in the last couple of days! You are a group of women to treasure!

Happy Friday!

splashing in the puddles...

Last night, I took a tip from my 4 year old. I splashed in a puddle; and I wished he was with me so that we could splash together.

I very seldom let him- not because I think that splashing in puddles is wrong. But everytime there is a good puddle near, we are inevitability headed somewhere. And that somewhere is a place we need to arrive in respectively good shape- not splashed with puddle mud.

At this point, I've really tasted just about every weather possibility available in the OKC area. I was at the el-cheapo theater nearby the house watching WATCHMEN. There was only abotu 20 min left when the screen flashed out and the house lights went up- "The tornado sirens are sounding. Please make your way to the bathrooms- that is where you will be the safest. We will restart the movie after things have settled."

I shuffled my way to the restroom. I recieved a text from Shelby: We are in the shelter. Hmm...no one in the restroom seemed to worried. I carried on a discussion with another lady: "Oh, you aren't from Oklahoma, huh? Not used to this kind of thing, huh? They'll make us wait for a few minutes and then start the movies back. Don't you worry. Most people like to sit on their porches and watch the storm flash by- just a bunch of hicks."

A few minutes later, we were all in the foyer; the bathroom wasn't exciting anymore. The rain came down in sheets, and the sky was constantly purple with lightning flashes. "We are going to start all movies within the next 5 minutes. Feel free to get in line for a free refill on your drinks."

The end of the movie: dark, sad, ominous.
Ironic, I thought.

I hung out in the foyer for quite sometime. The rain was so thick; the lighting so consistent. And my tires aren't in the best of shape. One girl ran out to pull her car up closer to the front enterance, and came back in DRENCHED! So, I waited; and waited. The sirens went off again- for several minutes. But I stayed with everyone else in the foyer. Finally, the rain died down. I rolled up my pants and walked out to the car. The sky was still purple and there were plenty of rumblin' goin' on-

But, me, I jumped into a puddle or two (or three).
Missed Rand, wished he was with me; and at the same time was so glad that he wasn't with me.
I drove home slowly.
And once I was home, watched the weather channel- all the greens, yellows, reds, magentas, and yes, some black- with my roomie!

little man turns 4

I can't believe it. My little boy is 4 years old. It is mind-boggling that this adventure has been this long already. It is true what they say: the time does fly.

This is his first birthday that I am not with him. He is NC, and I am in OK. Of course, I am sad about this, but we had a celebration before he left. And we have another one scheduled for after my return to NC. And I've had 1,460 days of celebrating his birth in my heart.

So, I've decided that I am really okay with not being with him on this specific day- it isn't this one day that is so special; it is the culmination of days that I've been blessed with and will always treasure!

Happy Birthday, little man!
I love you- all the time!

he's gone

My little man is gone.
He left with my mom this afternoon.
I wrote him a book- to introduce airport and airplane etiquette. He's been on a plane before, but before he was aware of...everything. Mom said that he did well on the first flight- OKC to Dallas. The next flight is longer- Dallas to RDU. But it is only one day of traveling- compared to 3 in a car.

Either way is an adventure for the little man-
And for the adult entrusted with his care.

It feels weird to know that I won't have mothering responsibilities when I get home tonight. The girls at the office invited me to "margarita night," and I didn't have to worry about scheduling Rand coverage; because he's not even in the state anymore.

So, ladies night- margaritas- fun; and yet, my heart is still connected to the little man, and is worried and praying for his safe flight home.

one of my new life rules...

I am not allowed to shower in a strange shower having had woken up at the crack of dawn and therefore being unfamiliar with products of a varying nature posing as hair products, not mention too tired for my olfactory to have started the business differentiating between shampoo and Skin-So-Soft Bath Oil.

**************************************************************

Intersting life rule, huh?
Well, these are the kind of rules you have to establish for yourself when you wash your hair with bath oil instead of shampoo.

working in OKC

I really needed some work to come in; and though I've had some really great interviews and second interviews- nothing permanent was coming in. I decided to transfer my attention to the temp agencies in the area. I called new places and sent updated information to the ones that I was already listed with-
"I am willing to take short term contracts. I need some work, any work ASAP."

And glory be- there was a call the next day from one of my favorite agencies: The Addison Group.

"Jennifer, you are willing to take on short terms? That would be great! We have an opportunity starting next Monday, and it will last 7 days. Would you be interested?"

WOULD I BE INTERESTED?
I know that my bank account would be interested!

I wanted to double check the requirements and the location- no need to accept a position if I wasn't going to be able to get there from Rand's preschool or be able to pick him up in time. And another glory be- the 2 locations were only 12 min apart! Three cheers!

Clearly, I took the position.
And that is where I've been from 7:55am to 5:02pm the last several work, weekdays. (Give or take a couple of mins depending on the day and the commute.)

I love this feeling- I am going to work; I am earning money.
And the first two days came with a trainer: the lady I was replacing was around for 2 FULL DAYS of instruction- talk about awesome!! And she was a jewel- I am sorry that I didn't get a chance to work WITH her, instead of replacing her.

She warned me- there are only 6 women in the office; all the rest are guys (of varying age) that love to razz each other. It makes for an interesting work environment. "Stay on your toes," she said. And I am trying. Excuse me, I need to duck: there is a tootsie roll flying through the air....ouch!

And talk about being worn out. What I am doing is not particularly difficult, but I get off the clock and am wasted. I've been wiser about taking opportunities for extra sleep: getting to bed early, taking naps on the weekends.

If you need me in the morning or in the afternoon, you'll find me in OKC commuter traffic on I235.

And if you need me in the "in between" time, call the office- "The Womble Company. Your Pella Window Store. This is Jennifer."

the food list...

It is amazing.
I always ask someone what their favorite eatery is-

They are always fun answers; and of course, the diversity of fav places to eat are as diverse as the people I ask.

Have I told you guys about the Bueno? Taco Bueno. Similar to Taco Bell, but "oh-so-much-better!" Talk about fast food that still manages to be yummy...AND YOU GET GUACAMOLE!!! That is awesome!

I've been told that Hide-a-way Pizza needs to be on my list....best pizza ever is what I've heard.

And I haven't had a real burger until I've gone to Johnny's.
(Do they even know about the Cookout goodness?)

And no matter what I forsake, I HAVE to go to Pablano's before I leave OK. They have the freshest salsa ever. Hmmm...

So, clearly there are still places that I need to go eat...and what about all my already fav places? There isn't enough tummy-room for all of this...

so much happening

There is so much happening, I don't even know where to begin....clearly, I haven't been taking the time to write. Shame on me! There are fun details; there are sad tidings; there are changes; there is a list (that still grows) of things to do and eat...

I will work on updating; but please don't expect chronilogical order or consistency for that matter.

I am pathetic

I am filling in at a temp assignment. I've been here all last week, and will be here for a few days this week as well. This assigment leaves time for extra things to do- "free time," you could call it.

And I have been utilizing that time-
spending time on the job hunt (ah, the satisfaction of being paid to job hunt!) and keeping communication lines open...

And in the back of my mind is a voice: "Write on your blog. Doesn't matter which one you choose; they are all behind. Write, woman, WRITE."

It shouldn't be, but that voice is SO easy to ignore.

praises (yes, more than one)

1. God is giving me some direction. I feel like there is a path developing. I am continually asking for guidance and confirmation, but he is moving on my heart; and I am so thankful for that.

2. I have 7 days of work!!! One of the staffing agencies come through with a short term contract!!! I start working Monday!

3. My mom is coming into town for a visit! She will be here for 10 days starting tomorrow morning (missed her grandson terribly ;)

REGARDING 2 & 3
I keep asking God about his timing. It seems odd that I would finally get work at the same time that my mom will be here. I hate that I am going to miss out on time with her. My feelings are still askew, but I've told God that I will trust in his foreknowledge and plan.

4. In LifeGroup on Sunday morning, I told the group that I am the "geek mom." That introduction to preface this next comment: I have an interview with the Apple Store at Penn Square. I am really excited and really nervous about this. I can't believe how it all worked out to get an interview this quick. And I am thankful just to have the opportunity to interview. I'm not sure if my goals are going to be something they can work with, but I am excited to have the chance; and ask that God would make it clear (to both them and me) whether or not this is the path to take.

Just wanted to publically thank God (again) for his kindness and goodness.

He has not forgotten me; and that is amazing and humbling.

He is moving my heart, and that is truly the impossible at work (I am exceptionally stubborn).