one of my favorite things

Want to know what one of my favorite things about living in OKC is?

KOMA, The Best Music of the 60's and 70's

Station 92.5 on my car radio.
I love it.

There is always something great on the radio; and I am singing my little heart out. And I feel good that my kid is getting a well-rounded background music education: rock, r&b, soul, folk, etc...

Come for a visit: there's plenty of American Pie to last the car ride to our local church (and then some).

victory in enemy territory

I was invited to watch the game at a Sooner's home. She is a friend of my roomie. She graciously opened her home to us and our children- and our beautiful, CAROLINA blue sports wear!

The children played; and the adults watched the game (and yelled at the TV).

So glad to know that Sooners are gracious hosts, even in the face of defeat.

Thank you so much for making this Tarheel feel "at home."

funny, I think,

So, I've been paying attention to the NCAA Tourny- as usual. I'm not a dedicated college bball fan, but I can't help getting sucked in by March Madness.

I think it is funny, ironic you could say, that UNC battles against OU on Sunday afternoon. :)

Go Heels!

so, how's the weather...

It's been a little less than a month that I've been here in OK.

You want to know what the weather is like? CRAZY!!

There's been:

hot, sunny days
light breezes to winds that blow me off balance
crisp, clear, chilly days
muggy days
foggy weather
there's been snow, ice, hail
thunderstorms: with amazing lightening and thunder

and NW of my area there are blizzard conditions; and between tonight and tomorrow, there will be 3-6 inches of snow on the ground.

It definitely keeps things interesting.

big storm

We had a big storm last night. Pretty typical around here, or so I here. I actually got up out of bed and asked my roommate if I needed to be worried or prepared for anything else- more tornadic. She was checking the weather channel, but didn't seem too perturbed by the howling winds or the pop-pop-pings of the hail.

Oh, yea. There was hail. A lot of hail- all dime, nickle sized, and maybe a few quarters. I haven't seen a good hail storm since I was 8? maybe 9? I mean, the ground was dusted with white pebbles- not completely covered; but a decent dusting.

I thought it was interesting.
And I thought it was amazing how dry the playground was this morning due to the velocity of the winds. Amazing that all of last night's water was gone; either blown away or dried up with the force of it all. The tulip sprouts survived; and the grass responded by growing another 2 inches in one day.

I wonder how the cows across the street are taking it?
Do they get annoyed by all the pings, or is it a welcome icy, massage?

persnickety

–adjective Informal.
1. overparticular; fussy.
2. snobbish or having the aloof attitude of a snob.
3. requiring painstaking care.
*from dictionary.com

Synonyms: choosy, dainty, exacting, fastidious, finical, finicky, fussy, meticulous, particular, squeamish
*from thesaurus.com


This has become our favorite word.
We commit to using it at least once a day in conversation.
And yes, it applies to both of us; all of us for that matter.

my sensory-wise son

-excerpt taken from my journal: entry dated Thursday, March 5 2009 sometime mid-morning

And so, it is a new day.
Rand and I are at the playground. I wonder...
Here at the playground Rand gets to work on his gross motor skills and need for boyish expression-aggression release; but I wonder how he handles the wind. It is really windy, consistently windy here; and I know he notices it. I wonder how it affects him sensory-wise. I feel it on my skin, in my hair; I hear it in my ears. I wonder how Rand processes all these things. Does it has the possibility of being an overwhelming thing or will it serve to build up a kind of sensory immune system? Will he learn to cope well with all that surrounds us?

For that matter too, we are right beside I35, a major roadway through this area. From this distance, you can hear the constant roar of the cars on the tarmac. It is not unlike a vacuum cleaner or hair dryer. But Rand seems unfazed. I wonder if this will serve to wear down his fear of other noise-makers or will he keep grudges against certain ones?

I was in church this Sunday...

and I can't tell you how long it has been since that has been the case. I actually went to Sunday School (which they call LifeGroups) and Service.

I appreciated the loving nature of the people around me. I enjoyed the lessons. I heard and felt the music. But I couldn't help but on some level feel like a hypocrite. There are so many questions that I have, and so much faith that I lack: I can still speak Christianese with the best of them, but I am not completely sure I believe it as it is coming from my own mouth.

But it is so easy for me to do it. And I wonder, how much of my heart is really my own; and how much of it is God's, whether I like it or not?

And I think, for a moment, I could have been really happy: if I had let myself.

sorry, I was still sleeping

You know that joke where someone sleeps through an earthquake?

Well, that was me this morning.

Here is the OKC vicinity, we experienced an earthquake this morning. Depending on the news channel you watch, it was a 3.4, 3.6, 3.9 on the scale.

Sorry that I missed it.

to stay; or not to stay

Just some thoughts about what's going on:

I am not going to lie: the first few days here have been tough; and I was really questioning my ability to stay. The girlfriend that I have come to stay with really let me have it last night. She said, "Jenny, I think you already know what you want to do. Deep down, you've already made the decision. Just decide it; and stop being so wishy-washy about what you are going to do." It was like a reality slap- I really needed it. I think I was looking at everything and getting overwhelmed about how much needs to fall in place, and I was ready to leave before I had even started actually "being here." *


*excerpt from a letter to a friend

so many questions:

You all have so many questions for me.
And there is really only one answer.
It can be applied to just about everything...

Are you on vacation?

Are you on sebatical?

Are you on an unknown journey?

How long are you gone for?

Is everything okay?

Do you have enough money?

How is Rand adapting?

Will you stay with your friend all spring?

Are you going to get a job?

What will you do?

The answer to all of these and more:

I DON'T KNOW.

That's my theme.
I can't tell you more than what has already been written.
I think in goals; but my mind is a jumble right now. There are so many things to consider, I don't really know where to start first. And so, each day; a day at a time. And you will be updated as I go along.

a special kind of place in OK

Many people may want to know what I have seen in OK so far. There is one kind of place that I have been to more than I care to mention: public restrooms!

I am in hard-core potty training mode with Rand, so leaving the house is always a production- making sure I have enough supplies for the road. Rand also has this "thing" about public restrooms. He is scared, and so he usually throws a fit. I am always dealing with some level of mortification when I have to deal with a public restroom situation with him. Situations like this take practice. What I mean is: Rand will slowly come around to situations he doesn't like if he is exposed to it a little at a time; like building an immunity to it.

And so, that leaves me with "practice makes perfect;" and mortification never killed anyone.
Charge forward and deal with it: that's another one of my mottoes.

Rand and I have been visiting all sorts of public restrooms in order to train him to expect different things, different sounds, different flushes, different soap, different hand-drying machines. He hasn't gotten to the point where he will actually use the potty each time; but I can usually get him to at least sit on the potty. (And truth be told, the first pee-pee in a public restroom was just the other day: at the zoo. And that made the road trip THAT much more interesting.)

And so, OK public restrooms.
I have seen quite a few of them.

I have issues.
I discriminate against institutions who proudly label themselves "Southern Baptist." I just know that they are a certain way, and that I- in all my Jenny-ness- would not be truly welcome there; that I won't fit their mold.

At least, that is what I think.
There are only so many things that I am willing to change in order to fit into a group of people. (And honestly, I should say "adjust" not "change.")

So, that is what I thought.
And I promise you, I am not changing myself to fit in; that I won't change myself in order to fit in...

But, here I am: associating myself with a mega-church, a proudly Southern Baptist church. And I am thankful for it, I am thankful that I've been welcomed, and I am looking forward to making more inroads.

I guess I am changing, but not too much.
Let's just say that I have been challenged to let some discriminations go- and that's not a bad thing, not a bad change.

k-love hug

I think it is interesting what you find comforting in times where you wade in the unknown.

I am familiar with K-LOVE from North Carolina. I don't listen to it much, but I am familiar. I know that many of my friends love to listen to it.

I was in North Little Rock battling the idea of where to spend the night. Rand and I were both tired and ready to call it quits on the driving for the day. I was experiencing some anxiety about where to stay. I was at a particular exit with multiple hotel choices, but for some reason, I couldn't shake the heeby-jeeby vibe.

I spent way to much time driving around, semi-aimlessly, before I chose to listen to the vibe and drive on down the road a little further. As I was flipping through the radio stations, trying to clear my head, I found K-LOVE. I was washed with a sense of love and home-folk. It was a great familiar feeling in a not-so-familiar place.

Bible Study thoughts

I went to Bible Study for the first time in a long time, and there were two thoughts thrown out by my fellow students that made me think a bit. I want to share them with you.

1. It doesn't take faith to believe in God; but it does take faith to believe in Jesus.

2. Space was created as an example of God's vastness.
We explore space only to find more.
We explore God only to find that there is more than we can ever know.

Just some interesting opinions that peaked my interest.

zoo time

We went to the OK Zoo this morning.
What a great experience. All the animals were on excellent behavior: close to the fences so that we could see them up close and personal. There was one animal that took its closeness a little too seriously- the ostrich. It came close and then tried to snap at us through the fence. Talk about a quick move back from the fence line! Rand didn't react with fear, surprisingly. He found it interesting, as did I. Until, Rand reached out at the same minute that said ostrich snapped. A little too close for my comfort.

There was also this amazing, extensive play ground area. I was very impressed. It was a great morning.

And better than all- (this may be too much information for some, but this had been a HUGE battle in our lives recently) Rand went pee-pee in the public restroom potty. His fear of public restrooms makes him freeze up, although he REALLY needs to go. But today, after only a little time, he WENT! YEAH!!!

guess what I saw?!

I saw roadkill on Day 3 of driving: an armadillo.

Talk about a change in perspective.

traveling with toys

It is a little more responsibility than I want to travel with toys.

Most of Rand's toys were packed into the trunk or into a tote in the front seat. I only deemed a handful of toys worthy (worth it) to actually take into the hotel room with us- the small ones. Believe me, I was already hauling enough in and out: I didn't need much more.

The second morning of our trip, the morning after our first hotel stay, I was frantic. Aunt Julie sent Rand two plush hearts for Valentine's Day; and he loves them. He particularly loves them together! We took one with us to the breakfast bar; and thought we had brought it back. But as I was packing, there was only one. I saw only one. Where was the other one?

"Rand, do you know where your yellow heart is? Go find your yellow heart?"

Rand looks at me as if to say, "You go find that yellow heart, Mommy. I got beds to jump on. I don't know where it is!"

I rummage through the overnight bag.
I search through all the bedding.
I look in the garbage bins.
I peek into the bathtub (you never know).

I check the car.
I poke my head out the door and look down the walkway.
We walk to the front desk: "I am looking for a yellow plush heart. Have you seen one around?"
I accost two cleaners: "Where is that yellow heart? I know you have it! Let me check your trash bags."

I double check with the front desk clerk as I am checking out: "Are you sure you haven't seen it? Can I call later in case it turns up?"

Rand seems obliviously to the loss. I am trying to figure out a way to explain that there will only be one heart to play with from now on. I know that in the moment that he wants it, there will be a trantrum.

I try to figure out how to break the news to Aunt Julie: "We lost one of your hearts."

I drive.
That's all I can do.
Forward and on: we will deal with the pain and loss when he is focused.

I check into another Days Inn in N. Little Rock.
I unpack a sleepy Rand onto the bed; and continue to unpack the car.
I unzip the overnight bag.
I haul out bath toys.

What is that: smushed under those undies?
A plush yellow heart.
I'm saved.

let me explain

I've had many people ask: Wait?! I don't get it! Are you moving to OK?

The easy answer to all of this is:
I am visiting my college roomie from UNC. Her husband who is in the air force is gone for a 6 month training session. Since I didn't have a job in NC, it was a good time to pack up and explore a little. It may be a 2 week vacation; or, if things go well, I may spend the spring here.

The first few days here, I've been rather quiet because of issues getting online. But I just conquered setting up a wireless network for my friend's house, so I will be updating information more regularly. So, if you have any questions...SHOOT. If not, just explore vicariously though me and Rand.

If you want to send snail mail, my new address until further notice is:
Jennifer Busfield
9021 Button Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK 73160

**Hold off on the phone calls. I need to clarify some issues with my Verizon account. When I get things settled, I will provide a phone number as well (not that it will do you much good- i.e. I am not one for talking on the phone much.)

leaving the colors behind

I’ve abandoned the colors.
It was a conscious choice. They were there for the taking. And I love the colors! It would take no convincing to keep them close. In fact, it took a serious amount of convincing , a hard “talking to,” to leave them. Why does it matter?

Because the colors are easy. I don’t have to think when I play with the colors. They talk to me and make their own way. All I have to do is listen and play along. I love the colors.

But I came here to write. And so, in this case, the colors would end up being a distraction; an “easy out” so to speak. I love the words, but I have to think to use them. It takes time and energy: brain power. I love it; but it isn’t play- it is work. And most of the time, I don’t want to work.

long trip

Just so you know, it is long. The trip is long: approximately 1200 miles. The landscape suffers from winter’s dull colors: gray. brown, dead-green, dingy yellow. Rand and I drove through several storms; so there was lots of gray (although many different shades). We also drove through sleet and snow. That’s not something I was planning on; so needless to say there was nothing appropriately packed for that kind of weather.

The trip is long.
And it wasn’t pretty.

But it was beautiful. The land is amazing. It rolls and swells; it is flat and solid. There are fields and trees; mountains; creeks and lakes and rivers. It is mesmerizing.

I would drive it again, the whole 1200 miles.
There was so much I saw that I want to see again.
There was so much I missed that I want to have another chance to look at.

It was beautiful.