I am here again.

Change.

At this point, I feel like I’ve lived through it enough times to recognize the process. Details are a little different each time, but generally, there are a lot of emotions that can run amok as your brain works overtime to keep all the moving pieces in order.

It takes a lot of energy and effort.

And a lot of grace to honor the process.

Other words come to mind too: kindness, mercy, understanding, wisdom, patience.

Chocolate.

Honoring the process. Being my best self amidst the whirlwind of angst and frustration, imperfection.

Holding tightly onto You, the lifesaver, as the storm hits me with its worst – as I pray: “Please, please let this be the worst.” Even if the darker moments come, I know that You’ll be by my side. I don’t have to do this alone.

Help me speak up at the right time.

And if I’m not supposed to speak, keep my mouth shut – even if I’m inflamed in passion.

It’s a tricky dance – change. Ever evolving, so impressional. A lingering, demoralizing shift.

Give me peace through the process.