Today my friends and connections, women and men together, from across the nation are walking for women’s rights.

They march. I trudge.
They are awake and engaged; I am fatigued and despondent.

I want to be present and focused – fighting my battles, as well as ones that are bigger than just my sphere…

Which over time seems to get smaller and smaller. I’m tired. Impatient. Unmoving. Stuck in the mud.

Hard.
Angry.
Cynical.
Jealous.

I look back and realize I used to be flexible, open, tender, joyful, giving, zealous.

Who am I? How can I get back to the person I used to be, the me that was, the me I want to be?

I am guilty of holding on to hurt and letting it turn me into a miser…letting it drain my energy.

I become less and less generous; less and less loving.

Love. Only reserved for a select few…because I don’t have the energy for anything, anyone else.

Totally NOT the person I want to be.

My friends, my connections – they march for different reasons, I’m sure; but to me, it boils down to love, equality, respect. They fight with their actions.

Please help me as I climb from this thick mud to find ways to show love with my action, my energy and effort.

Let me understand how I can educate and instruct my son, he is so unaware, so literal, so pure; and I’m guilty of being too cautious, avoiding conversations that I know we should have, that I have no idea how to start, how to close.

How do I diagram love and respect?

Please give me the energy to be creative, to think beyond words, which are so hard for him to connect. Women’s rights – they affect us all, because we’re connected. And I don’t want him to grow up unaware –

Thank you: for putting people in my life who are examples of love and respect in action.

Thank you: for giving me a child who challenges me to think beyond.

Thank you: for giving me yet another chance to rise from the mud, to try again.